Special Report - Modern Gift Giving

A holiday tradition can come from many places; from deep religious belief, from family history, or even from the media. Dating back to Victorian times, the way we celebrate Christmas has been in constant flux. The introduction of Santa, the Christmas tree, and the big turkey (or duck) dinner were added to religious practices like charity and carolling. Now in the age of Facebook and Pinterest, new ideas as to how to make the season fun and special seem to come up every day!

From decorating, to feasting, to sharing the magic with our children (you may have already seen our write up on Elf on a Shelf), the way you celebrate is as unique as the members of your family. Today we focus more on the way we actually give in the 21st century, with a few ideas on feeling spoiled without over-commercializing the biggest money-making holidays of them all.

Christmas Eve

More and more parents are extending the gift giving into the night before Christmas - a day packed with traditions all its own. After ensuring the tree is trimmed, the stockings are hung, and the cookies are out, some families open a special gift or two reserved for this evening. 

• A board game - for a family with kids aged pre-school and above, a nice way to focus on family time, that doesn't involve television, is to play a group game. From the classics like Candy Land and Trouble, to a more recent fave like Apples to Apples, there are dozens of choices for every age group.
• Pajamas - having brand new sleepwear is a super cute idea. Having matching outfits always makes for great holiday snaps. Take some pictures the night before, though. You can't count on everyone in your family still wearing the same jammies for present opening. 
• A book/ books - Seasonal reading for before bed is a nice way to unwind after a day of too much excitement leading up to the big day. It doesn't have to be T'was the Night Before Christmas (although that's a good one), it could be a more traditional piece, or even just a wintery tale to strike the right mood.

Christmas Day

Whether you open them up right out of the gate, or start with a hearty and decadent breakfast, it's hard not to focus on the present part of the day when you're staring at a mountain under the tree! But does it need to be a mountain? We are huge fans of the saying: "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read."

• A want - that's easy enough to figure out this time of year! No doubt you had a fairly large list to choose from, if not a few friendly hints! Consider making this gift the biggie under the tree, while Santa brings something smaller. It's terrible when some kids get a stuffed dog and others get an iPad from the same man in red.
• A need - this could also be a toy that serves a purpose beyond just fun. It could be a comfort item, crafting supplies, sport or dance lessons... you name it.
• To wear - we're not talking underpants here, but maybe a fashionable sweater your daughter has been coveting, or that great sports jersey!
• To read - again, focus on the fun. You don't have to buy Dickens if your son likes Captain Underpants. Whether it's outer space or  cooking that interests your child, encourage reading in every way you can.

The present opening process can be a blur, and leave everyone feeling let down that it's over. Try to extend the moment as long as you can, taking the time to open each gift and appreciate it. That might mean taking turns, pictures, breaks for games or snacks... whatever it takes to extend the moment. It's also important to have something ready to look forward to immediately after the gifts to keep spirits high. A karaoke carol sing-a-long? How the Grinch Stole Christmas? A family craft for Grandma? It's the perfect moment to share in the tradition that started it all - the love of family.

DIY - Time Killing Crafts for the Un-Crafty

If you spend enough time on the internet, you start to think that you are the laziest human on earth. How are these moms turning pallet wood into castles and old onesies into gorgeous memory quilts? I mean, who has the time? I love baking and crafting as much as the next person, but even if I had a few hours to devote to being creative (which would truly be luxurious), I do not have the talent of some of these artesian mamas out there. The good news is, you don’t need hours or mad-skills to create some fun and festive decorations for your home. You, and your eager kiddies, can do some great traditional crafts while waiting for dinner to cook, or even while watching Rudolf before bed.

Cut Paper Crafts:

· Snowflakes – Easy and beautiful, all you need to do is fold paper several time on to itself, cut out little chunks and shapes, then unfold to reveal your unique creation! You can round off the edges, or add glitter to take it to the next level.

· Christmas Trees – Cut a basic tree shape from green cardstock or construction paper, and then embellish your design with coloured shapes taken from old cards or Christmas wrap! This is a fun way to make a Santa list too, using a catalog for the presents. 

Bead or Link Crafts:

· Pasta necklaces – That classic accessory of parenthood; design a piece for granny, or a special accompaniment to your holiday outfit. Use colourful ribbon or yarn to start, and add paint to really show off your style.

· Paper chains/popcorn garland – Is there anything more traditional than a great garland for the tree, or to decorate a play space? Try adding fresh bay leaves or cranberries with your popcorn for the scent and colour! If you are worried about your child with a needle, there are plastic crafting ones available at most big box stores. 

Mold or Form Crafts:

· Dough ornaments – Use this recipe as your base, then add a small amount of food colouring, or paint afterward. If you have trouble thinking of shapes, us cookie cutters as a mold. Don’t forget a small hole using a toothpick, so you can add string!

· Candles – a favourite craft from my childhood, they are way easier than you think! Using wax granules from a hobby store, melt slowly in a pot on the stove to a liquid consistency. This is a great way to use up some old, broken crayons as colouring! 

Tip: Tie a wick to a straw so it doesn’t fall in to your shape! You can line a toilet paper tube with wax paper, or find a cute jar from the dollar store!

Mommy Musing - The Never Ending To Do List

Never is the time crunch on mommy demands worse than at this time of year. Extra work in decorating and maintaining the house for visitors, parties, shopping, and just things like medical visits are eating in to the time that I didn't even know I had. The "ought to" and the "got to" lists in my house are growing by the minute... The every day domestic stuff never goes away, and even if I was anywhere close to caught up on laundry and vacuuming, I have just over a week before the Holidays ramp up in to full swing. We have officially reached the point of no slowing down until January, and it can all be a little overwhelming. 

Beyond the irritation of mall shopping, and plainly wanting to do chores after work, I'm really scared that my Angry Mom is showing up too often lately. Most of the joy that comes from the Holidays is doing activities with my son, and eagerly awaiting the moment when he can open up his gifts! I love watching his face while he marvels at an elaborate mall tree, or the shock and wonder of walking through what little snow we've had. It's amazing, sweet, and exactly the way I want to be spending my time - not stirring a pot for dinner, or matching socks. 

I thrive under a routine, but when something constantly knocks down my plans, like the unexpected activities associated with the holidays, I get really easily frustrated. Not frustrated that my schedule is off, but more concerned that some things are going to just fall off my plate. They do, and that's unavoidable. The lack of control can make me feel like a failure as a wife, and certainly as a mother. My son is too young to understand that Mommy has a lot to do, and to know that we missed a craft time or a play date, but he's not too young to know that I'm stressed and distracted.

I can prioritize, delegate, dig in and accomplish whatever I can, but it's just not going to all get done. It can't, and I'm learning to be okay with that. With travelling to another province, I'm giving up my tree this year. A small sacrifice that I don't mind too much. I'm not going to attempt to do 4 fancy cookies, or to handwrite cards to everyone I know, although I love both those things. We're not going to go on dozens of winter walks to see Christmas lights, make snow angels, and go tobogganing in the park. My life is not picture perfect all the time, and that's normal.

What I am going to do is surround myself with family, spend extra time in my pajamas, and try to relax. When I look back on my life, I don't think I'll ever wish I spend more time scrubbing floors or tying perfect ribbon. In my heart, I'm not the sick and tired mom, ever tethered to her phone. I want to spend more time on the floor, learning about diggers, painting, and making dinosaur noises. So that's my gift to myself this year - permission to be a messy, lazy, happy and engaged mom. I think it's my favourite gift ever. 

We Tried It! Pillsbury Ready-Made Sugar Cookie Dough

I love sweets, but I have exactly zero willpower. A box of cookies is a very dangerous thing to have on hand, so I don't often put one in the cart as a safety precaution. I also love baking, within reason... I have so little time on my hands with a toddler that a multi-step, chill, roll-cut-repeat sugar cookie just seemed out of the question. Or is it? I've seen tubes of oh so tempting chocolate chip cookie dough in the grocery store refrigerator before, but this week I saw something new - pre-made sugar cookie dough, ready to slice and bake, or cut and decorate with your brood. I love this idea, especially for this time before a helper with patient measuring is an option, so I'm trying it out!

I paid $3.49 for my roll of dough. This article is not sponsored, and this is a true reflection of how I felt baking cookies while my toddler slept and my husband played video games.

I decided to try both styles of preparation to see what worked better. Slice and go seemed straight forward, but the dough is a little crumbly, and maintaining an equal cut wasn't exactly easy. I'm not sure if a bigger knife would have made a difference. Or heating the knife, like you would a spoon for ice cream? I don't know...

I also rolled out half with flour as suggested and cut out shapes with my one Christmasy cutter, a tree shape. This was way harder. The fat component (vegetable oil, I assume) made the dough very greasy when left unchilled for too long. You really need to work quickly - something that would be hard with young children. It also stuck terribly to the counter, so moving the shapes was kinda tricky despite the flour. If you were the kind of baker that had a Silpat baking mat this probably wouldn't be an issue. Then again, if you have a Silpat, you're not often making Pillsbury.

I was a little worried that my well-intentioned sugar ovals would bake inconsistently, but they rounded out nicely and cooked evenly.  Then again, the package really didn't explain how much these babies would expand. I spaced my 24 cookies over 3 baking sheets and they still puffed up to probably 3 times their size. I would suggest a smaller cookie cutter could yield double the cookies with great results.

While the first cookies baked, I decided to create a side experiment; I wondered whether it would be easier to decorate the cookies before or after the baked. Then I realized, I had very little decorating "stuff." I always have chocolate chips in the house (who doesn't?), so I brought those out. Then I remembered I had some gel icing writers and sprinkles left from my son's first birthday cake. Blue and brown aren't exactly "holiday" colours, I suppose, but why not?

The baked-in decorations worked really well and would be better for decorating with really young kids. A small assortment of chocolate, sprinkles, or candies just to give the cookies a bit of personality. It's just beige dough after all. I had more fun with the after cookies though, and I think older kids would too. Making fun icing shapes and intricate patterns. The gel pens worked great for this and with some patience you could get some great detail. A fun idea for a teacher gift, maybe?

Taste-wise, they were pretty darn good. They are not a chewy cookie by any means if that's your thing, not that they are meant to be, and they have a bit of a "store bought" quality to them. I don't think you could fool anyone in to thinking you baked these from scratch, but that's okay. Ironically, I liked them more than my toddler, so I don't know what that says. Largely kids are excited about any kind of cookie. Overall, considering the fun of the Christmas cookie "experience," I think it's pretty great. Quick to the point, fun for a cold afternoon indoors after tobogganing or making a snowman. I give it 4 out of 5.

Have you tried this product before? What do you think? 

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Protecting Your Home While You're Away - What and When

We're getting close to that time of the year when people go "a-wassailing" - holiday parties, work functions, shopping, and trips to see family. This is great for your spirit, but the longer you're away, the more risky it can feel. It's dark earlier, and leaving your home empty can make you feel a little nervous. Additional people roaming the halls of your apartment can make your secure building feel a little less so. Not to worry, we've got some great ideas to protect what's yours while you're away spreading joy to the world!

What: Plan to Protect

When: 6 - 8 weeks before departure

As soon as possible, a few small investments in your home will help secure the exterior, and increase it's energy efficiency!

• Swap your outdoor light with one that comes on with a timer, or is motion detected. This will seriously deter kids and casual troublemakers from getting too close. You can even buy very convincing looking, fake security cameras if you don't want to spring for the full thing.
• Check the condition of your mail slot, weather stripping, garage door, and window locks, immediately removing the easy targets.
• Arrange someone to pop buy once or twice to gather mail, put out garbage, and check for footprints around the back of your house. 

What: Create the Illusion

When: 1-2 weeks before departure

Just like this helpful list from the government of Canada puts it " If your house is completely closed off, it is going to look like no one is there. If you make it appear more normal, it is less obvious that you are away."

• If you normally decorate, do so. Maintaining your lawn and driveway the way you normally do is important.
• Minimize your social media evidence - advertising your countdown might get in the wrong hands. It's great to be excited, just keep the exact departure and arrival to yourself.
• Be a little extra sceptical of "accidental" buzzers. Consider giving your friends a funny password like "guacamole" or "isosceles"  for entry.

What: The Final Overview

When 1-2 days before departure

With your bags packed and your tickets in hand, doing this last walk through will give you piece of mind that you've done everything you could to protect your home.

• If you have valuables that you're particularly concerned about, find a strategy to protect them. This might mean photos for insurance purposes, getting a safety deposit box, or dropping it off with a relative for safe keeping.
• Remove any spare keys you have hiding under mats, unplug your automatic garage door opener, and make sure no major electronics are visible from the street.
• Consider some lights, a radio, or other small appliance to leave on while you're out.

There's no reason to expect something to go wrong, but being one step ahead of the game is not paranoid, it's smart. I often say, "you don't insure your car once it's on fire." Take a moment to review your policy to make sure that you are covered for everything you think you are. Once you've dotted your i's and crossed your t's, you can relax en enjoy your vacation.

Special Report: Recommended Ages on Toys

I often read the directions on products out of curiosity, as well as to maximize the quality of its use. Today, for whatever reason, I decided to read the directions on my body wash. They read: "Squeeze onto a wet pouf or washcloth. Work into a rich, creamy lather and rinse." Now, most people understand the concept of body wash, but if you were actually seeking information on this label, you would have a hard time getting clean. At what point does this product contact your skin? I am I to assume that once the wash cloth has been rinsed I can scrub, or I am I to understand that the company actually forgot a step in a 4 step process?

Toy labels are similar; the guidelines are vague, sometimes offer vast age ranges, and leave a lot up to interpretation. When you're considering whether or not a toy is appropriate for a child, there are really only 3 considerations that label means to express - potential liability, intellectual/ physical complexity, and mature content. Whether or not a person wants their children exposed to swear words, sexual content, or other violence is a personal decision for a parent and has more to do with the child and parenting style than the toy itself. For that reason, let's look more into the other two.

Potential Liability:

This is an obvious concern for parents and toy manufacturers alike. With historical references like lead paint, lawn darts, and the thousands of choking hazard lawsuits, companies take this decision incredibly seriously. This is one way in which you really should consider the intended age range on a given product, and here are some reasons why:

• Newborns have limited head control, so suffocation is a real threat - limit stuffed toys, bumper pads, and clothes with hoods.
• Babies put everything in their mouths, so consider the paint, chemicals, ease of cleaning, and obviously choking potential on any toys.
• Toddlers take risks and like to interact very intently- watch for parts that could snap, pinch, or otherwise unintentionally snare them.
• Preschoolers like to test boundaries -  so now is not the time for beads, finger paints, tiny doll shoes or other insta-messes (if you value your relationship with the parents at all.)  

Intellectual/ Physical Complexity:

This is probably the hardest range for manufacturers to establish. My son actually has a set of stacking pots on which the original age frame was 6-36 months. How on earth did they gauge that? At 10 months when I bought it, it barely caught his eye. At 18 months now, it occasionally peaks his interest. I have a hard time believing that he will still want to interact with it at all in a year's time. Think about the following characteristics:

• Height Restrictions: Trikes, bikes, and other ride-on toys have more to do with how tall the child is than how old they are. Age is only a factor is so far as the average age of a child that is of a given height with a given set of abilities. If your niece was an early walker and a string bean, there's no reason to wait.
• Imagination/ Emotional Age: Even if a product is targeted to an older (or even younger) age group, products mean different things to children at different ages of their lives. If the toy is of little concern in terms of risk, allowing the child to grow with a product or nurture an emotional need is a good thing.
• Development: Since children move through stages at lightening speed, it almost always makes sense to buy a product they are not yet ready for, rather than something that suits them exactly at this moment. Examples include books, clothes, and educational material (science kits, colouring pages, etc).

When a child is overwhelmed by an outpouring of gifts, such as what happens on birthdays and on holidays, items can go underutilized, which is a real shame. Bringing the item that is put away for down the road when the child gets a little bigger is something a parent can really appreciate. If you're still unsure about what's appropriate or even "in" this year, don't be afraid to talk to someone. Ask the parents, a store associate, or even a child playing in that section of the store. With the parent's permission, of course! Randomly talking to a child might give some parents the wrong idea...

Holiday Gift Lists - What and When?

I know, I know - how cliché. We've just finished Halloween and immediately everyone turns to the topic of the Holidays. The stores have already had Christmas decorations creeping out of corners since school started, but now that the orange and black is on clearance, the red and green is going to be more and more prominent, and on people's minds. I'm not suggesting you should sing carols or put an inflatable Olaf on your lawn just yet, but in terms of planning for presents, the earlier you begin, the better. Here's why:

GRANDMOTHERS

Some have been shopping since July, some are starting to listen hard to what your saying to get ideas, some are just dying to spoil your little one with all kinds of toys and clothes... And that's not even getting in to Aunts. I know, I am one! I see things I want to buy for my niece on the daily! This is not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a complicated scenario for a mom. You want to be surprised, but you need to have a certain amount of control over the things that are bought for your child. I'm not even talking about finger paints and beads here people, I'm talking about sizing, preferences, and moral beliefs. 

Your kids are going to receive gifts you may never have bought yourself, and that's a good thing, so it's not worth hurting someone's feelings if a gift is not 100% your taste. A gift is a gesture of love and appreciation, and the giver wants you to be happy, so here are a few strategies to finding a middle ground.

What: A Christmas "Needs" List

When: For close family, and your own reference.

It's good to have, even if it's not the holiday season, so that you can capitalize on sales and are prepared for a growth spurt! Go through your child's wardrobe for the size they have now, and the size that they will next grow in to. Make some notes on their sizing and the gaps in their closets, and have this available. Needs are things like underpants - not fun to receive, but necessary. The older your child gets, the more they dread things like clothes, so it's not as desirable for the giver to buy. Sure, people might want to buy cute pajamas, or fun little outfit, but don't count your list being met in its entirety. 

What: A Christmas "Wants" List

When: Your child is old enough to have preferences (ie: a letter to Santa) or you're being asked by friends and family.

This list is the complete opposite of the above. It's not practical, it's the wow-factor. Family and friends love buying things like toys, movies, and other entertainment items because of the fun they are to buy, and the fantastic reaction you get from the receiver! It's true of parents too, so you can hardly blame them! If people ask you what your child wants for Christmas, try to give a variety of options, thinking a little outside the box. 

• Books, books, books - if your child has a favourite television show, try encouraging their love by combining it with reading rather the DVD or other media. Remember to ask for some books that are ahead of your child's current abilities so they have room to grow.
• Outside, literally - your house is probably packed with stuff, so why not some outdoor toys? From bigger gifts like bikes, sleds, and wagons, to smaller items like chalk, beach toys and hockey sets, lets encourage some fresh air!
• Fun experiences - lessons, classes, and family passes are a great gift for the holidays. If your child likes fish, a day at the aquarium has much more impact than a goldfish in a bowl, and no animals will be harmed!

What: A Christmas "Don't" List

When: You feel strongly that a gift is inappropriate.

This is not meant to be a power trip; maybe you try to have toys that are not battery powered, you prefer organic materials, you discourage screen-time... whatever the case maybe. For the holidays, it's okay to receive a few treats that can be stored away separately and enjoyed within limits. What you should make people aware of, politely, is something that prevent you from allowing your child to use a toy, even on a sick day or special occasion. 

An example that sticks out in my mind is weapons. Sure, older kids might want to play aggressive or war like games, but I would draw the line at having toy guns and archery material in my house. I feel strongly about this issue, but not everyone in my life thinks it's problematic, or knows I hold this view. It's okay to casually mention this limitation if giving a list. It will save a lot of awkwardness if a gift you feel is inappropriate is purchased by stating your case ahead of time.

Do you worry about holiday gifts? How do you deal with presents that are inappropriate?

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Christmas Controversy Corner: Gender Specific Toys

When I was a child, my favourite toys were Hot Wheels. I had a vast collection of those miniature sports cars and spent hours perfecting my "vroom" sounds. I had no idea that these were considered boys toys and that I was being subversive by preferring them over dollhouses. (Although, my number one favourite toy was my Cabbage Patch doll Christina.) My parents encouraged me to choose the toys I liked - regardless of gender stereotypes.

Fast forward a couple of years, I worked in a children's book and toy store and was taken aback by the intense gender segregation of products being sold to children. The boys costumes were fire fighters and the girls got fairy princesses. The boys books were about sports and the girls books were about first crushes. Children who start their lives with no specific tastes or interests are quickly ushered into the appropriate gender camp. But, what purpose do these stringent rules serve? It is not to the benefit of the child and, let's face it, it's silly. Why is a kitchen set a girl toy? Many of the world's most accomplished chefs are men. Why can't a boy play with a baby doll? Most of the women I know find a man who's a good father really sexy.

When it comes to toys, girls have it a bit easier than boys. They are not generally chastised or shamed for wanting toys that have been segregated into the "male" category (sports equipment, building blocks, etc) - so long as they get them in "girly"colours like pink and purple. Lego is an excellent (and sad) example of this requirement; while boys are building cities and vehicles and secret agents and medieval scenarios, girls are building cupcake shops, hair salons, juice bars, shopping malls, and "Cinderella's Romantic Castle." All in shades of pink, purple, teal, and pale yellow. It's true you can just buy any Lego set for either gender, but the commercials make it pretty clear to the children who should buy each kit.

The fault does not lie only with the toy companies. They are businesses looking to make money and thus create products based on consumer demand. If parents made more of a fuss about the advertising practices and blatent sexism in the toy market, the businesses would make changes. They're not, though. When the Lego Friends line was launched, I overhead many a mother say "finally, a Lego set for girls!" Sigh.

The answer isn't "gender neutral" toys (play doh, for example) either, because that should not be a distinct category. All toys should be available and encouraged for all children inclined to play with them. As parents it is our job to help our children navigate the world by exploring, creating, imagining, learning, and playing, no matter what they choose to use in order to do this. Girls can be superheroes fighting crime and boys can be princes preparing the castle for a ball. Let's take the shame out of play.

Merry Christmas Eve! What was your favourite toy as a child?

Special Report: A Less Commercial Holiday Season

A lot of hard work and planning goes into making a very special Christmas. My adult self can see that.  I admit, however, that young Seana was not quite as fond.  To me, Christmas was just another day.  Slightly better, because it involved gifts and good food.  Also slightly worse, because it involved waking up early to the shrill voices of my excitable younger sisters.  I've always been a hibernating sort.  One year, I happened to receive as gifts two of the exact same long haired, surfing Ken doll.  Without a second thought, my mother gave the duplicate to my sister with the promise of a suitable replacement at a later date.  By my math, I was still in the negative... why does she get a bonus gift? 

Sad but true, that age worries a great deal about equality.  It's nearly impossible as a parent to make everything "even."  You can do your best with dollar value, but all the kids will see are the number, sizes, and perceived desirability of the presents! A nearly impossible task! When thinking about how to turn that impression around, we kept going back to the reason(s) for the season, such as community, gratitude, and reflection.  There's no better way to teach kids about the real meaning of the holidays than how to share, care, and be fair.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or another seasonal holiday, there's often an element of community. Spending time at church, over prayer and light, or just cookies and milk, you feel the warmth of the people that surround you. My son and I recently went to a craft time at a local retirement home that we enjoyed so much.  The babies got social time, the moms made wonderful keepsakes, and the seniors loved the smiles and laughter that filled their halls. 

• Involve the kids in the process; allow them to suggest favourite prayer or story or song, decorate the tree with sentimental objects, create homemade gifts that emphasize the love that went in to their creation.
• Focus on family; events and traditions that require real togetherness.
• Get out in to the community; with parades, pageants, and tons of other events this season, the opportunities to make new memories are all around.

There's no doubt that we live in a commercial world. The subtle increase in toy ads that creep up as early as September impacts what kids want and think they need. Shifting the focus to gratitude is an important counterbalance to this perspective. My aunt, for example, takes time with her kids to donate a box of dog treats to the humane society. Seeing the puppies that don't have homes this year might help them to better take care of their own furry family member.

• Make donations part of your holiday tradition; be it time, items, or money, there are so many in need and so many ways your family can help.
• Guide gift lists with an eye to what kids already have in their cupboards; do you need another X? Is there something that we can give up to make room for it?
• Always include some practical items amongst the presents.  I like the adage "Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read."

"I always gave age appropriate gifts that included items they needed, rather than just wanted. By age 2 or 3 they were able to understand that the gifts were based on different interests/needs and that everyone was getting what was best for them. I tried to keep it even but it is not always possible. Same when out shopping, not everyone needs or gets a new coat, shoes, etc.- these things are based on need not want and they seemed to understand at a fairly early age." Pam, mother of 2

Trend Watch: Elf on the Shelf

Around the holidays, we constantly hear the word "tradition" being thrown around. Some traditions are quite common (a turkey feast, opening presents bright and early Christmas morning) while others are unique to a family and can date back decades. In our family, we are always open to starting new traditions. Every year we add something different alongside the tried and true activities and foods; some ideas stick and some don't make the cut the next holiday season. As families grow and change-with new partners and babies added-it makes sense to find a balance between things passed on from great-grand parents and new 21st century traditions.

The Elf on the Shelf is just such a new tradition. Introduced in 2005, this story book and toy combo requires quite a commitment from anyone looking to add something new and special to their Christmastime. After reading the rhyming story book, parents must find new and creative ways to display the elf to be found by excited children each morning for the month leading up to the big day.

From the website: "The Elf on the Shelf®: A Christmas Tradition includes a special scout elf sent from the North Pole to help Santa Claus manage his naughty and nice lists. When a family adopts a scout elf and gives it a name, the scout elf receives its Christmas magic and can fly to the North Pole each night to tell Santa Claus about all of the day's adventures. Each morning, the scout elf returns to its family and perches in a different place to watch the fun. Children love to wake up and race around the house looking for their scout elf each morning."

While purists will head to the craft store in November to buy felt and other supplies for the coming month, official branded accessories are available to add to the  expense  fun of the experience. Examples include: an apron, an aviator jacket, and a sports jersey.

The necessary dedication, time, money, and surreptitiousness required is beyond anything I would sign up for, but I am impressed by the parents who decide to take on the challenge in order to add some whimsy to their home. Many of the most creative ideas can be viewed  on (and copied from) Pinterest or other social media photo sharing. It does beg the question: is this solely for the children, or is it just one more way to show off your flawless family to an audience of bedraggled parents? Regardless, I am of the opinion that if you're willing to commit to 25+ original elf tableau every year for the next 10 years, more power to you!

Mommy Mental Health: Stress Free for the Holidays

It's no secret to anyone that knows me - I don't really like the holidays. Oh, sure the lights on my street look beautiful, and I enjoy special treats and time with family, not to mention my favourite Bing Crosby movie, but overall, the season can be very tense. Especially now that I have two families to visit, to shop for, and to share my time with, I find the lead up to be full of stress, and the day itself to end with a major let down. All that time, that money, that work and in a matter of hours, its over. As I think about how to make the time more special and full of love for my own little family of three this year, I identified the four major stressors that make me most unhappy this time of year; the lack of time, the pressure of family, the expense, and the lack of daylight. Well, daylight I can't do much about, but the other three I plan to mitigate as much as possible. Here are my strategies for a merrier Christmas:

Finances:

As discussed in my article about budgeting, I have set a clear and definite amount of money I am able and willing to spend on gifts this year. I have been listening to tips and hints that my family have been dropping on their wants and needs, and am focusing on thoughtful presents that I can buy within those constraints. I saved and I planned what my son will need in the coming months, and have also shared this list with my family so they know how to best gift us as well.

Beyond this, I am focusing on the spirit of the holidays that do not cost money. In the spirit of giving, we are going to make a small donation to the food bank. We are making a trip to the library to pick some holiday themed books to read on the night before and morning of Christmas. We will lovingly unpack the ornaments we have acquired over the years, remembering why each one is special with a cup of egg nog. We will spend time with our loved ones, sharing memories and games that make us happy.

Family:

But loved ones though they may be, they can also cause us anxiety. Whether it be guilt from a lack of time together, stress over gift expectations, or other common problems, it can be hard to strike a balance in our increasingly blended and extended families. You can never fully alleviate this, but you can be honest with your feelings, which goes a long way. 

And start early. My husband's family lives across the country. We knew we couldn't be in two places at once, and historically our every-other-year system had us home for this season. With a young baby and my sister's new bundle to enjoy as well, we addressed this in the fall. We agreed that my in-laws could visit us here early December, and that we could have a nice long video call on Christmas Day. A fair compromise to which everyone agreed. Have a straight forward conversation about your limitations; financial or otherwise, and people will understand.

Time:

It is a limited resource at any time of the year, but it really seems to slip through your fingers immediately following Hallowe'en. There are parties to attend, shopping to do, baking and decorating... does the list ever end? You have to define a line for yourself; you have to know when to create the time and what you can eliminate from your list.

For myself, I love to bake, but the mess and potential danger with an active baby is a huge panic I have chosen to avoid. A family friend of mine has created a side business baking for the hoildays. For a reasonable price, I'm getting a tray of a variety of home baked cookies delivered to my home. I get all the benefit of the goodies without the dishes! The added benefit is the support of my friends' own holiday goals. Whether you call in a pinch hitter to wrap for you, make your dinner pot luck, or just don't bother with a tree, find a way to unburden yourself of something.

The spirit of the season can get so easily marred by the whirlwind that is the holidays. You really do have to pause, regroup and focus what really matters. Create memories and traditions that give you something to look forward to and look back on down the road. From my childhood, I think of decorating the tree with my sisters and our own personal bells, watching A Christmas Carol with my dad, and constructing the perfect trifle with my mom. I can't wait to share a future of new memories with the best reason to be happy this year.

Mommy Money Matters: Budgeting for Christmas

For both my sister and I, it's baby's first Christmas.  We've gone from a family of adults, having a casual drink and chatting loudly, back to toys, lights, and all the joys that come from a young family. With all that excitement, it is no surprise that I already have a list a mile long of things I'd like to buy my son; cute seasonal clothes, photos for grandparents, and of course, gifts aplenty for under the tree.  As with most new moms, however, I'm feeling the pinch of my reduced income.  I have to do my best to match my dreams to my very real budget.  Being a good saver, I would like to share a few strategies to make planning for your holiday spending a little easier.  I hope you benefit as much as I have with these techniques.

If you have over 6 months...

While it won't be applicable for this coming season, starting to save as early as possible is always the ideal method.  Stretching it out over a longer period means saving less each time you put money away with the same (or an improved) result.  This is true of everything from short term goals like a big purchases like furniture or vacations, and longer term planning such as retirement and school savings for your children.  If you're already finding funds tight, this is the ideal time to work a little overtime, or take on some side work if you can. Dog walking, house cleaning, direct sales - whatever you feel comfortable with.  Can you have a garage sale?  Send some out grown clothes to the consignment store?  The money needs to come from somewhere and you can't get blood from a stone.

DO:

• Estimate a reasonable budget for your list.  That means that maybe you don't have $250 for your parents this year.  And maybe thinking you can do everything handmade is a little ambitious.
• Take your total budget and save an extra 10%.  There might be price changes, taxes or shipping costs that will require a contingency down the road.

DON'T

• Shop too early!  It might seem like a great deal now, but people's tastes change, they buy things for themselves, and return policies expire!  I'm not advocating a December 24th panic-fest, but maybe July is a little pre-mature to predict junior's size and grandpa's tool shop needs.

If you have over 6 weeks...

DO:

• Make a piggy bank for those downtown parking and latte costs.  You have no idea how much can accumulate in small change. Throw everything smaller than a loonie in a tin and watch the magic happen.  You don't even need to roll it anymore - most banks have coin machines that do the work for you.
• Separate your funds in to pre-allocated envelopes.  It may seem like a pain to shop with cash, but it is a guarenteed way to see where your money is going and when it's gone.  Replace funds with the receipts for your purchases so you know where they are if you need them.

DON'T

• Wrap yet!  Things are still in flux and you might find out that your sister bought the same thing for the little one that you did, or that an item for hubby has been recalled. It's annoying, but it happens, and you might as well expect it.  (Good thing you know where the receipt is!)

Do you have a budgeting tip to share or a great money saving strategy?  We'd love to hear about it!  Follow us on Facebook and tell us all your best holiday survival stories!