Controversy Corner: The Cry It Out Method

What is it?

Cry It Out (CIO) is a sleep guiding method where parents offer short bursts of controlled comfort (or no comfort) while training children to soothe themselves and sleep through the night. There are two main variants on the theme but both methods require the parents to allow the child to cry; sometimes a lot. Supporters of sleep training techniques assert that babies need sleep to function and thrive and so sleep problems (such as restless nights, multiple interruptions for feeding or changing, etc.) are detrimental to growth and development. Not to mention, Mom and Dad need adequate sleep to be able to cater to babies needs during appropriate waking hours. 

They also claim that self-soothing fosters independence in children, a quality that will help them in life as they continue to develop as individuals. Encouraging appropriate sleep associations for a child, is also a focus, in order to avoid persistent bedtime problems through out childhood. Examples of sleep associations are: needing rocked, nursed, or driven in a car for 30 minutes every night just to fall asleep. Enough to drive you crazy after a few months.

There are two main types of CIO:

1. Dr. Richard Ferber's method (known as “Controlled Crying” or “Check and Console” or “Ferberizing”) begins as early as 4-5 months old when (he claims) babies can be sleeping through the night. Using a timing chart, parents  put their baby down for the night and allow more and more time to pass between checking in on the child for a brief bout of consoling before leaving them to self-soothe again.

2. Dr. Marc Weissbluth's method (known as “Extinction” or “Full Extinction” or “No Peek") recommends waiting until baby is 9 months old to begin, but also differs in that, once baby is down for the night, you don't go in to console them as it sends a mixed message.

*These are very simplified introductions to these methods, both of which are detailed in full book length, and include information about baby development and the science of sleep. If you are interested in CIO as a method for your family, I recommend checking out a book at the library or seeing a sleep specialist in your area. This is meant simply as an introduction to this topic.

What are the criticisms?

Critics of the cry it out method (notably Dr. Bill Sears and Dr. Penelope Leach) state that it can cause “failure to thrive” in babies. (Beyond poor weight gain, their holistic view of failure to thrive takes into consideration all aspects of an infant’s well-being: social, psychological, intellectual, and physical.) Babies learn that their calls will not be answered and thus stop voicing their needs—they do not stop needing. A baby does not understand why you are eager to comfort/feed/change them at 2:00 pm, yet all-but-abandon them at 2:00 am. They insist that your intuition as a parent is to react sensitively and appropriately to your baby’s attempts at communication (crying, facial expressions, and gestures) and it is unhealthy to turn off that natural instinct in order to control your baby’s sleep patterns too early. 

Those that are anti-CIO say that the relationship you have with your child should focus on support and nurturing, not on control or power dynamics. While the CIO method claims to foster independence in children, research has shown that it in fact rears whinier, more dependent children with a lifelong sense of insecurity. As the Sears family of pediatricians assert: “babies cry to communicate – not manipulate.” A child who cries in the night for food, a diaper change, or comfort does not have a "sleep problem" that needs to be fixed, they are simply communicating needs in the only way available to them and are connecting synapses in their brains that regulate trust, security, and growth. Parents need to accept that the first year or more of a child's life requires sacrifices and vigilance, and that may mean 12+ months of disrupted sleep.

Thoughts

As with most controversial parenting choices, the decision to sleep train is personal to you and your family. My own feelings are that sleep training may have a place in the arsenal of tactics for bringing harmony to your household, but it’s not something I would consider until my baby is at least one year of age. No one wants to be spending an hour a night soothing a sleep deprived toddler, but I don’t believe that an infant is manipulating you because they've learned you’ll come when they call. That’s exactly the lesson they need to learn, and something you need to maintain in order to cultivate the sense of security crucial to healthy development. Every single family, and each and every baby in every family, is different, and what makes sense for you, works for you, and reflects what is important to you, is the correct choice in your circumstance. No mommy shaming!